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Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from ER. They
are
the property of Warner Brothers, etc. I do take ownership of
Victoria Knight.
Author's Note: I apologize in advance if the medical information
presented is inaccurate or unrealistic. That is entirely my own
fault. A reference to a character from "The Good Fight" is made.
The last episode seen was "Leave it to Weaver", but this
series will not contain any spoilers for Season 6. If you've
seen up to "Getting to Know You", you're safe.
Previous Chapters: First Time For Everything, Across the Way,
All in a Day's Work, A Hard Day's Night,
The Calm Before the Storm, Aftershocks,
Reflections
Archive Info: Please do not archive this story without my permission.
This series can be found on Alan's EROnline site at
http://erfanfiction.freeservers.com/shirl/
and on Evie's John and Lucy's Fanfic Lounge at
http://www.angelfire.com/mb/greatfic/TheLounge.html
TITLE: Awakenings
Part Eight of a series
AUTHOR: Shirley
yoshinaka@sprint.ca
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Help! I need some help here!" Carter called out urgently, as he moved
quickly down the hallway with the precious cargo in his arms.
Jerry raised his head at the sound of his voice, and met up with Carter
as he came striding towards him. "You found her!" he exclaimed,
sounding relieved, but still showing concern. "Is she hurt?"
"I don't know." Carter's voice was strained, partially from worry,
but also from the exertion of carrying Lucy for quite a distance.
"Go get Kerry. Which trauma room's open?"
"They all are," Jerry replied. "We're still slow in here. I'll find
Dr. Weaver."
"I'm right here," Kerry said, coming up from behind him. She managed
to keep pace with Carter as he hurried down the corridor.
"Lily, Chuny, give us a hand, please." The two nurses followed
along, as Kerry continued to give orders over her shoulder.
"Jerry, call security and let them know she's been found. Also get
me Lucy's medical file so we can check for allergies."
"Ok," Jerry affirmed, rushing back to the admit desk.
"Hey Jerry. Any word on Lucy?"
He turned at the sound of a familiar voice. "Dr. Greene, what are
you doing here?" If his memory was correct, Mark's shift didn't start
until 7 am.
"Kerry called me a little while ago, and I thought I could help out
in the search."
"Carter found her. He just took her into Trauma 1."
Although Mark had arrived looking a little weary, he now became alert.
As he quickly headed for the trauma room, he could hear raised voices
coming from inside. He pushed through the doors and saw Kerry
grasping both of Carter's arms, as if she was trying to hold him back.
As he took in the scene, he noted that Carter looked absolutely
exhausted. Kerry had told him over the phone that Carter had come down
on his own to search for Lucy, not even stopping to take a break.
The poor guy looked almost as bad as Lucy did.
"Let me help, Kerry," Carter was saying insistently.
"You can help by telling me more about Lucy's condition. But you're
in no shape to do an examination. Now, stand aside," she said firmly.
"How is she doing?" Mark asked, finally making his presence known.
Heads turned in his direction as he strode towards the gurney.
"Mark, you got here quickly," Kerry commented. She let go of Carter
and he remained where he was, frustrated that she wouldn't allow him
to do more. "She's been out in the cold for as long as four hours.
She's probably dehydrated. Let's get an IV of saline going."
"BP's 140 over 90. Pulse 100. Good breath sounds," Chuny reported.
"Temp's 102 point 5 degrees," Lily called out.
"We need to bring it down. Do we know if she has any allergies?"
Mark inquired.
Jerry entered the room with Lucy's file in hand and he handed it to Kerry.
She glanced over it quickly. "She's clear. Let's give her
600 milligrams of acetaminophen, IV push, and put her on a mask
as well."
"Where did you find her, Carter?" Mark asked.
Carter reluctantly tore his gaze away from Lucy to look at him.
"On the roof. I think she's in shock. She was really out of it
when I first found her, and she wasn't making any sense."
"Can you be more specific?"
"She blames herself for Brad's death. But then she said, 'I killed
them. They're all dead because of me.' Something like that."
Kerry gave him a worried look. "Any idea what she was talking about?"
Carter hesitated. "At first, I thought she was just rambling from the
shock. But now I think I may know what's going on." He didn't want to
say anymore than that. "Should we call her mother?"
Mark and Kerry exchanged glances, and Mark finally nodded. "Yeah, I
think we should. I'll get Lucy admitted so we can keep an eye on her.
Kerry, maybe you can call Mrs. Knight?"
"Of course."
Everyone exited the room except for Kerry and Carter. He stepped closer
to Lucy's side, instinctively reaching out to smooth back her hair.
Only then did he realize Kerry was watching him closely, and he awkwardly
drew his hand back.
"You care about her a lot," she said softly, coming to stand next to him.
"She's a good friend," he mumbled, keeping his gaze on Lucy's pale face.
The dark smudges under her eyes were much more noticeable now, and she
looked so vulnerable lying there.
"She's lucky to have you for a friend. Not everyone would have gone
searching for her the way that you did."
Carter chose not to respond to that remark, and Kerry let the matter
drop. "I'd better get in touch with her mother and let her know what's
happened. You look like hell, Carter. You need to get some rest
before your shift starts. What time are you on this morning?"
"Six."
"Take an extra hour. You probably have your pick of exam rooms."
Carter almost blurted out that he wanted to take Lucy upstairs to be
admitted, but he decided against it. Kerry already seemed to sense
how he felt about Lucy. He wasn't even sure when he had started caring
so deeply about her, but he was too tired to try to analyze it right now.
He only knew that he wanted to keep these newly discovered feelings to
himself for a while.
Mark came back into the room with Chuny. "Everything is set. We'll
take her up to five." He looked at Carter pointedly. "You need to
get some sleep. You look..."
"I know," Carter interrupted, slightly amused in spite of himself.
"I look like hell."
"Well, yes. So that's an order."
They went their separate ways. Kerry had to look in Lucy's file again
to find her mother's phone number, Mark and Chuny wheeled Lucy's gurney
towards the elevator, and Carter chose which exam room to nap in.
He decided on Exam 6 for a couple of reasons. It was a fair distance
away from the noise and bustle of the admitting area, and it held some
fond memories for him. As he lay on the gurney in the dark, he smiled,
remembering how he and Lucy had stolen a few kisses in here. It had
meant more to him than he had admitted to her. It had happened two
years ago, but he was still able to recall exactly how her lips had
felt against his; soft, yielding, and...incredible.
He closed his eyes, thinking his concern for Lucy wouldn't allow him to
get much rest. But it only took a minute for him to drift off to sleep.
**********
The day dragged by for Carter. The slow morning in the ER stretched
into an equally slow afternoon. Normally, he wouldn't be complaining.
But today, he would have preferred being kept busy. He actually had a
lot of paperwork to catch up on, but was finding it difficult to
concentrate. He spent a lot of time checking in on Lucy's condition.
She still had a slight fever but other than that, she seemed to be
recovering. An IV kept her hydrated with fluids, but the oxygen mask
had been removed. She still hadn't regained consciousness, but that was
probably her body's way of allowing her to rest.
Kerry had contacted Lucy's mother in New York. Although she had
explained that Lucy's condition wasn't serious, Victoria Knight had
insisted that she wanted to be there. She told Kerry that she would
be flying in later during the day.
The pace picked up a bit late in the afternoon when several traumas
came in at once. Carter was almost happy for the distraction. He also
had to deal with a medical student that hadn't shown up for his shift.
It turned out that he'd suddenly decided to drop out of med school.
After sorting through that problem, he realized he was starving. He'd
had a quick bite to eat at lunch, but that had been hours ago.
Carter approached the admit desk to let Randi know he was heading to
the cafeteria. He noticed a brown haired, attractive looking woman
talking to the desk clerk, a suitcase placed at her feet. The woman
turned to look at him as he came closer, and he knew it must be
Lucy's mom. They shared the same bright blue eyes.
"Carter, this is Lucy's mother," Randi called out.
He smiled and held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Knight."
She returned his smile, though a worried look clouded her expression.
She shook his hand firmly. "It's so nice to meet you, Dr. Carter.
My daughter has spoken of you. And please, call me Vicky."
"All right, Vicky. If you'll call me John."
"No one calls you John," Randi said without thinking. She lifted her
shoulders slightly as Carter shot her a look.
"Lucy's up on the fifth floor. Shall I take you up to see her?" he asked.
"Yes, thank you. Is there somewhere I can leave my suitcase? I came
straight from the airport."
"Sure." He picked up the bag for her. "Let's go to the lounge."
After placing her suitcase and coat in the lounge, they headed up to
the fifth floor. Although Vicky had a dozen questions, she didn't
ask them now. She wanted to see her daughter first.
They entered the room, and Carter drew the curtain around the bed for
a little more privacy. Lucy was still asleep. He took a look at her
chart, as Vicky sat down in the chair. A nurse had last checked her
temperature twenty minutes ago, and it was almost down to normal.
Vicky took hold of Lucy's hand and glanced up at Carter. "How is
she doing?"
"A lot better. She was running a fever, but her temperature is almost
normal now. The IV is helping to keep her hydrated. She's been
sleeping all day, which is a good thing. She needs the rest."
"What exactly happened? I spoke with Dr. Weaver on the phone, but she
was pretty vague. She told me that Lucy had been upset about Brad,
and that she and Tom had argued before she'd run off."
"Tom?" Carter raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Sorry, I mean Brad's father."
He nodded. "Right. Uh..." He wasn't sure where he should start
explaining things. "Lucy's been having a difficult time lately.
The working hours alone are enough to wear anyone down. But the
past week or so has been really hard on her."
Carter went on to tell her about what had happened the night before.
He didn't go into great detail, but basically told her how Lucy had
kicked Brad out of her apartment, and of the subsequent conversation
where she'd revealed how tired and overwhelmed she'd been feeling
lately. And although he hadn't witnessed the scene himself, he
briefly told her how Brad's father had blamed her for his son's death.
As he said this, he could see the obvious anger in her face.
"That, combined with everything else, was just too much for her,"
he continued. "She ran out of here and it took hours to find her.
I'm just glad I found her when I did. Her condition could have been
a lot worse if she'd stayed out longer in the cold."
"You found her? I didn't know that." She raised grateful eyes to his.
"Thank you, John."
"No need to thank me," he murmured. "Um, can I get you a coffee or
anything? Something to eat, perhaps?"
"No, I'm fine." She glanced at her watch. "How long are visiting
hours?"
He waved a hand. "Another hour or so. But don't worry about it.
Stay as long as you'd like."
"Thank you again. I suppose you need to get back to work."
He was leaning on the railing at the end of the bed, and now shifted
his weight from one foot to the other. His stomach was going to start
grumbling any second, but he would much rather stay here with Lucy.
However, he couldn't think of a good enough excuse.
He tapped the railing as he straightened up. "Yeah, I should get back
to the ER. I'll check in on you later."
Vicky gave him a small smile and returned her attention to her daughter.
Carter pulled back the curtain and let it fall behind him as he walked
towards the door. He noticed a man standing uncertainly, just inside
of the room. "Can I help you?"
"Yes, I was told Lucy Knight is in here."
"And you are?"
"Thomas Prescott."
Carter visibly bristled, his eyes narrowing. "I'm sorry, she isn't
allowed any visitors." Although he tried to remain professional, he knew
his voice and manner were betraying him. He couldn't help it. This man
was the main reason Lucy was hospitalized.
"I see," Mr. Prescott said hesitantly. "I'll come back some other
time."
The curtain surrounding Lucy's bed was drawn back, and Vicky marched
towards the two men. "You've got some nerve coming here," she hissed
quietly, from between clenched teeth.
"Vicky!" His eyes widened in startled surprise.
"I'm sorry about Brad. Truly, I am. But you had no right to accuse
my daughter of anything."
While her expression was a strange mixture of pity and outrage, the
only emotion that registered on Mr. Prescott's face was bleak sadness.
"You're right. Completely right. I know that now and I'm so sorry."
He seemed to be at a loss, and she found she couldn't remain angry
for long. She still had her daughter. The man standing before
her had lost his only son.
"Ok, Tom. I accept your apology. I...I really am sorry about Brad.
I don't know what I would do if Lucy..." Her voice trailed off.
She couldn't even say it.
"Mom?"
Carter and Vicky both turned at the sound of a soft, somewhat croaky
voice. Lucy was regarding them with eyes still heavy from sleep.
She looked rather dazed, as if she didn't quite know what was going on.
Vicky was at her side immediately, taking a seat in the chair once more.
"Hi, honey. It's so good to see you awake. How do you feel?"
"Tired," Lucy responded slowly. "And thirsty. Can I have some water?"
Vicky glanced at Carter, who had walked around to the other side of
the bed. He poured a small amount of water from a plastic pitcher that
was kept on the bedside table. Inserting a straw into the cup, he held
it steady for Lucy as she took several sips. She settled her head back
onto the pillow once more and appeared to be a little more alert.
"What happened? Am I sick?" She first looked towards Carter, and then
at her mother.
"You don't remember what happened?" Carter asked.
"I remember sitting in Doc Magoos for a while." Her voice got stronger
as she spoke. "After that, it's kind of fuzzy."
"You went up to the roof. Does that sound familiar?"
"No. Yes, I do remember a little of that." She raised her eyes to
his face. "You were there."
"Yeah, I was. If you're up to it, I want to give you a quick exam.
Think you can sit up?"
Lucy nodded, and Carter adjusted the bed so it was inclined. It only
took him a few minutes, and he finished up by listening to her breathing.
Satisfied, he slung his stethoscope back around his neck. "Any feelings
of nausea or dizziness?" he asked.
"No. I did feel sick before I ran out," she admitted. "But I feel
fine now."
"Everything seems ok, then. You can lie back down."
"No, I'll stay like this. I get the feeling I've been lying down for
a while now. How long have I been out of it?"
"Oh, about 13 hours."
"Really?" She turned to her mother. "When did you get here?"
"Not very long ago," Vicky replied, relieved that her daughter didn't
seem to be suffering any ill effects from her ordeal. "I came into
your room just a few minutes ago."
"I thought I heard your voice. I think that's what woke me up."
She looked past her mother's shoulder, finally becoming aware of
someone hovering nearby. "Mr. Prescott!"
"Hi Lucy. I'm glad you seem to be doing well," he said, stepping
a little closer.
Lucy watched him warily, not sure of how to respond. She had been
dreading facing him again and now, here he was. However, his manner
didn't seem as threatening or angry as the last time she'd seen him.
"I'm all right," she stated softly.
"Listen, there's something that's been weighing on my mind all day,
and I need to get it out." He came to stand by the foot of the bed.
"I want to apologize for what I said to you down in the ER. I was
wrong. I had no right to blame you for what happened to Brad.
His death was caused by his own foolishness. I want to make myself
very clear, Lucy." His penetrating gaze connected with hers.
"You are not to blame. I only hope that someday you can forgive me
for the cruel things I said to you. That's, well, that's all I
wanted to say."
Lucy was silent for a moment, letting his words sink in. While a
logical part of her had known she shouldn't blame herself for what
had happened, she'd still felt guilty anyway. But now, she was able
to feel a small corner of her heart starting to heal. It was a start.
"Do you really mean it?" she had to ask, hopeful, but still uncertain.
"Yes, I do."
"Thank you," she said simply.
"Please, you don't have to thank me. I'm just glad that you're ok
and that I had a chance to talk to you." He looked slightly
uncomfortable now. "Well, I think I've intruded long enough.
I'd better get going. Take care of yourself, Lucy."
Vicky stood up. "I'll walk out with you," she said, wanting to
talk with him before he left. She glanced down at Lucy. "I'll be
back in a little bit."
"Sure, Mom."
As they left the room together, Carter pulled another chair to
his side of the bed. He sat down, his eyes never straying from
Lucy's face.
She gave him a strange look. "Carter, you're staring at me."
"Am I?" One corner of his mouth turned up in a crooked smile.
"Sorry. I was just thinking..." He managed to cut himself off
before he blurted out something he'd regret. He'd been thinking
that despite her weariness and tired eyes, she still looked
beautiful to him.
"Thinking what?"
"Nothing." He chose to change the subject and ask something that
had been bothering him for a while. "How much do you remember
about being on the roof?"
Lucy glanced down at her lap and started fiddling with the edge
of the sheet. "Not much at all. I think I was just blanked out."
"But you remember me being there?"
"Sort of. I remember crying, but not much else."
"How about saying, 'I killed them. They're all dead because of me.'"
Her fingers froze in midair. "I said that?"
"Yeah, you did." He noticed that she seemed to be avoiding his eyes.
"Who were you talking about?"
"I don't know."
He wasn't sure if he should be pushing the subject now, but he
wanted to get it out in the open as soon as possible. He was hoping
that Mr. Prescott's speech about Lucy not blaming herself would
help to put her in the right frame of mind. He decided to plunge
ahead. "Could it be Michael Travis? Or Sarah, the little girl
you told me about? Or even Corinna?"
It took a while, but she finally answered him. "Maybe. They, uh,
have been on my mind lately."
"I know. Luce, would you look at me?" He waited until her gaze
settled on his. "Remember what Mr. Prescott said to you? That
applies here too. You shouldn't be feeling guilty about what
happened to your patients. I think you know that, deep down."
"I do know that. I guess everything has just happened all at once
over the past few days. I just...I've been finding it hard to cope."
"I know you have. So tell me, honestly, do you believe these people
are dead because of you?" He remained focused on her face, gauging
her reaction carefully.
She sighed. "No, I guess not. Not when you put it like that.
I must have been really out of it when I said that."
Carter felt like sighing too, but from relief. He'd been worried
that she had really believed those remarks about killing her
patients. But it appeared those words had slipped out when
she hadn't been thinking rationally. He was reassured, but he
still intended to keep a close eye on her for the next little while.
"Luce, I hope you consider me to be a friend."
"Well, of course I do." She was a little thrown off by the sudden
change of topic. "Although, we haven't been very close lately,"
she added, wondering where this was leading.
"You're right, we haven't," he admitted.
The past 24 hours had been rather strange, to put it mildly.
He hadn't spent this much time with Lucy since she'd been his med
student. But somehow over the course of this period, his feelings
for her had been renewed; had deepened. If he was honest with himself,
the feelings had never really disappeared. They'd always been present,
just beneath the surface. But it had taken this crisis to reawaken
them. Lucy had too much going on in her life right now. He didn't
want to complicate things even more by declaring how he felt about her.
Besides, she didn't return his feelings. She had just acknowledged
that they weren't even close friends. But he continued on anyway.
"Um, I just wanted you to know that we *are* friends, and you can
talk to me about anything. Anything at all. I really mean that."
"Thanks, Carter. I appreciate it," she said sincerely.
His stomach made a loud rumbling noise. She laughed, while
he smiled sheepishly. "I guess it's trying to tell me something.
I'd better have some dinner."
Lucy suddenly realized that she was famished. "When do you think
I can eat something? I just realized how hungry I am."
Carter smiled. "Well, that's a good sign. Let's see how you do
with more water, then we'll try some clear soup. If you're ok,
we'll take out that IV and get you some real food." He got to his
feet and handed her another cup of water.
"Oh, hi Mom."
"Hi."
Vicky had returned to the room, and Carter wondered how long she'd
been standing there.
"I'm going to grab a bite to eat," he told her. "I'll be back
a little later."
Vicky nodded. "I'll be here." She waited until he had left the
room before turning back to her daughter. "So, how long has he
been in love with you?"
Lucy choked on the water she'd been drinking. She coughed, as her
mother patted her on the back. "What are you talking about?"
she managed to splutter.
Vicky shrugged. "Well, I thought it was rather obvious, but I
suppose I could be mistaken."
"You're mistaken, Mom."
"Ok, you're probably right. Sorry."
Lucy didn't even hear what her mother said next. She had to be
mistaken. They were barely even friends.
She almost chuckled to herself. Carter in love with her...
what a crazy thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback always welcomed and appreciated!
Shirley
yoshinaka@sprint.ca
Thanks :)
