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This story is one of the "Going Fourth" challenge
series, and takes
place after "Getting to Know You".
It's recommended that you read "Going Fourth" (1) and (2) first.
"Going Fourth" (3)
By: Shirley Yoshinaka
yoshinaka@sprint.ca
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucy spotted Carter standing by the elevator and took a breath,
hurrying down the hall towards him.
"Dr. Carter! Carter!" she called out, just as the elevator doors
opened.
He turned to glance back at her for a moment, then walked into the
empty elevator. "Not now, Lucy." He pressed number four. "I'm in
a hurry."
Lucy hesitated for a split second, then practically leaped inside as
the doors started to shut. She almost got sandwiched between the
closing doors, but just barely made it.
Carter looked annoyed. "I told you, not now."
"Yes, now," Lucy insisted, her eyes searching his. "Why can't you be
more supportive?"
Carter didn't meet her eyes. He knew what she was referring to.
"This isn't a good time," he said quietly, gazing up at the numbers
that were lighting up, indicating which floor they were ascending to.
Number 2, number 3...
The smooth ride came to a sudden stop and the elevator seemed to
lurch slightly. Carter braced himself with one hand against the
wall and looked down to see Lucy's small fist over the STOP button.
"What are you doing?" he said indignantly.
"You never have the time for me. Now I'm making the time." There was
a challenge in Lucy's tone, and Carter stepped back until he was
leaning against the far wall. He crossed his arms in front of his
chest.
"Great. This is really mature, Lucy."
For a brief moment, Lucy regretted her impulsive act. She hadn't
planned on doing this. But now that she had set this confrontation
in motion, she had to carry it through.
She gave him a defiant look. "I didn't think you'd take time out of
your busy schedule to talk to me, so this was one way to do it."
"That's ridiculous. I make plenty of time for you."
"Sure, you make the time for sarcastic comments or to order me around.
You never take the time to explain things to me." Lucy knew this
wasn't entirely true, so she quickly added "Well, almost never.
I thought things were getting better between us, but today, when I told
you about the Ritalin..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to gather
her thoughts together. She was getting upset all over again and she
didn't want to just start rambling. She wanted to make him understand
that she needed his support to get off the drug. She couldn't do it
alone.
"It's just been a really bad day, with Antoine screwing up his chance
at the summer lab," Carter started to say, in a weak attempt at an
excuse. Part of him was beginning to acknowledge that Lucy might be
right. As her teacher, perhaps he hadn't been giving her the attention
she needed. As for the Ritalin, he did understand that it would be
tough for her to stop taking the pills. He even realized that he should
be more supportive. So what was the problem? He cared for her. She
was a good person, and had been a friend to him when he needed someone
to talk to. Why couldn't he return the favour?
A sudden thought occurred to him, and he almost recoiled from it in
disbelief. He was acting like his father. His father had never been
supportive of anything he'd done. It stretched all the way back to his
childhood, as far back as he could remember. But most recently it had
included his decision to become a doctor, to work in the ER instead of
becoming a surgeon...even working as an R.A. in the dorms. Whenever
he had needed help with something, his father had pushed him away;
told him he had to do it on his own. Be a man.
Is that what he was doing with Lucy? Keeping her at arm's length when
she needed him the most? Treating her in the same way his father had
treated him, all with the misguided notion that this was for his own
good? It appeared to be true, and the thought horrified him. He had
always vowed that he would never be like his father; that when he had
kids of his own, he would show them unconditional love and support.
If he couldn't even do this with his med student, what kind of father
would he be?
"Is that all you're going to say? 'I've had a bad day, so sorry, but
you're on your own'?" Lucy said, almost bitterly.
Carter shifted on his feet uncomfortably and coughed. "Uh...Lucy,
maybe you're right. I sometimes do get impatient with you. I've been
treating you like..." He was going to mention his father, but stopped.
This was getting way too personal. He also realized something else,
and was surprised that he hadn't made the comparison sooner. His father
and Peter Benton were a lot alike.
"Like what?"
"Like how Benton treated me when I was his student," he continued,
deciding it was safer ground to talk about his former teacher.
"It always seemed like he didn't have time for me either. He was
tough on me, but I learned a lot from him."
"Don't get me wrong, Carter," Lucy spoke up, her eyes never leaving
his face. "I've learned a lot from you too and for the most part,
you've been a good teacher. But I thought we were friends too, and I
don't understand why you can't be more supportive of me in getting off
the Ritalin." In a smaller voice, she added "I can't do it alone,
and I'm worried about how it's going to affect my work. I already
messed up one too many times today."
"You know, Benton once told me that you don't need a friend; you need
a teacher. But I'm not Benton. And I think you need both right now."
She looked at him hopefully. "You mean that?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I do. You've been a good friend to me, Lucy.
It's my turn to be there for you."
Lucy smiled, feeling a mixture of relief and gratitude. "Thanks."
"Ok." Carter was glad they had reached some sort of understanding.
He didn't want to believe that his own experiences had made him
unfeeling and uncaring. That's not who he was. "We'll have a good,
long talk later on, but for now...I really need to get to four."
"Yeah, of course. Sorry!" Lucy fumbled for the right button,
and with another lurch, the elevator continued its upward journey.
As the doors opened, he said "So we'll talk later, ok?" He gave her
a reassuring smile as he backed out, almost bumping into someone who
impatiently brushed past him to get in.
"Damned elevators always take forever," the man muttered under his
breath.
Lucy hid a smile and waved to Carter as the doors slid shut.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback is welcomed and appreciated!
Shirley
yoshinaka@sprint.ca
Thanks :)
